Tough luck fellas.

Some clown had the bright idea to actually mold dog turd into a movie and distribute it worldwide, not once but twice. Yes, you guessed it. Sex and the City 2 is out in the cinema’s and has been for a while, or least I think it has – I don’t know for sure.

You see, I have a gobshite filter that mostly prevents this kind of gumpf from reaching my attention and it generally works well (for example, I still have no clue what Twilight actually is). However, on the odd occassion, the worst of the hollywood hyped bullshit manages to seep through and, well, here I am; angry for no good reason and ranting.

Just to make my feelings clear on the matter (if they aren’t already) I’ve decided to create a list of things I’d rather do than watch Sex and the City 2. Enjoy and add to them if you’re so inclined.

10. Lick a cow’s arse

9. Shout to a knocked down UFC Fighter ‘get up you girl’

8. Listen to an entire Celine Dion album without vomitting blood

7. Go on a date with a grizzy bear with an erection

6. Cut myself a thousand times across my body and jump into a giant mound of salt

5. Purposefuly trap my dick in a car door

4. Tell a neo-nazi skinhead that his hair ‘looks stupid’

3. Be sexually molested by twelve horny hedgehogs

2. Trap my balls in a microwave and set the dial to ‘defrost’

1. Set my face on fire

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